I want talk with my teacher?

I know it sounds stupid but I have had such a hard time with my parents and they act as if they don't love me, that is probably the truth. They never say anything good but bad, hate me,i.e she kicked me and never spoke to me, my father hit me and never spoke either. I feel so sad as they never consider me. Then, I met this teacher, Miss Snowdon was her name, she spoke to me a lot, english teacher, and I have had a sort of crush but not really. Then I wrote things for a competition and I wrote about myself but included things such as suicide. She told my head of year 8 and then I was in trouble. I had immeadite counselling and my parents were cross. I felt so unloved and they laughed at the things, I written things like I wanted to die. I also mention how much I like my english teacher. They laughed and gaged. I cried and cried and before I knew it I was asking question to my english teacher regualarly as I felt unloved and I was still cared for but not loved. I then found out I was introuble for going to her to many times. The head of year said not to and I apolgised, english teacher said not to. I allowed things to go and I had got a peer mentor to talk to me every lunchtime. I love this teacher a lot but I am not allowed to talk to her. She asks me if I feel happy, I lie and say I am even though I am not. I feel sad and I want to talk to her but feel awkward if I get into trouble. She was like my second mother in truth. I was told I shouldn't talk to subject teacher I said fine. I just can't take thinking everything is dropping and basically I told about that my mother shouted at me for doing the book thing. She had a word with my parents, they were angry and I was unloved more. I want to say something to this teacher, I truly have never felt some love in my life. My parents never cared and I never got anything for my birthday. I want to ask Miss Snowdon for a hug, what can I do I truly feel isolated. You probably will say I am always loved but I don't feel it. Please help me. I want to die.